welcome to My totally pointless 'About' Page.
Scroll down for answers. Sort of.
Who am I?
Still figuring it out.
What do I do?
this, apparently.
How long have I been doing it?
For too long.
Why do I do it?
Because somebody had to.
What inspires me?
People scrolling.
Am I any good at it ?
Well, you’re still here, aren’t you?
So, why hire me?
For reasons.
Keep scrolling for more answers.
Or just hit this LinkedIn button to reach me (I barely read emails.)
Looking for
answers, aren’t you ?
Well, keep scrolling.
Yeah, that’s it.
Scroll until your
finger gets tired.
Keep going.
Maybe you'll discover life's meaning in this
endless scroll.
Or perhaps the secret to why people put pineapple on pizza.
Spoiler alert: You won’t.
It’s Just an infinite scroll.
You really love it, huh?
Check out this site MADE just for you.
Still here?
you really have time to waste.
Keep scrolling if you
expect something to happen.
But
nothing will.
You’re dedicated to this quest for nothingness.
Why don’t you do
something useful?
Like donating to
a charity?
Well done! You've done your good deed.
Now, let’s spice things up! Scroll down as we count from 100 to zero
100… One hundred.
99… Almost there.
98… Oh, this is going to be so much fun.
97… Keep going.
96… are you still
hoping for a plot twist?
95… Plot twist: there’s no plot twist.
94… Seriously, why are you still here?
93… It’s a useless way to spend your time.
92… By now, you could’ve read a phone book.
91… BUT you Keep scrolling.
90… You’re doing it.
89… It’s like watching paint dry.
88… Or grass grow.
87… But hey, you’re the one scrolling.
86… Look at you,
champion of the void.
85… Still going.
84… So close to the end.
83… Just a little
further.
82… Don’t stop now.
81… have something
better to do ?
80… No.
79… That’s what I thought.
78… keep scrolling.
77… Keep pushing THESE pixels.
76… almost there.
75… This is what peak
productivity looks like.
74… Let’s get
to the finish.
73… Just a few more to go.
72… You must really
enjoy this.
71… or have nothing on your agenda.
70… Either way, we’re
getting closer.
69… Nice one.
68… Keep the scroll train rolling.
67… So close, you can
almost taste thE END.
66… Come on.
65… Let’s keep it
moving.
64… What’s the goal of all this?
63… Seeking the
meaning of time?
62… Or just more scrolling?
61… Only time will tell.
60… You’re nearly halfway there.
59… stuck in digital wasteland
58… Almost at the
bottom.
57… Don’t stop now.
55… There was no 56—if you didn't notice.
54… The excitement of a traffic jam.
53… The suspense of a slow elevator.
52… And It’s only going to get better.
51… Fifty-one Like the French pastis.
50… ALLLLLLEEEeeeeezzz!
49… This could be a
record.
48… Can you taste
the finish line?
47… Or is it just the
bitter aftertaste of that pastis?
46… Keep the scroll alive.
45… we’re Almost there.
44… It’s like waiting for a toaster… BUT forever.
43… You’re doing great, anyway.
42… So close.
41… It’s all in good fun.
40… Just a little longer.
39… Are you still with me?
37… Keep it up—don’t let the void win.
36… You’ve got this.
35… You deserve a medal in
procrastination.
34… Just a few more left.
33… close to the end.
32… You can do it.
31… JUST DO IT.
30… It’s like the final credits of a
forgettable film.
29… don’t look back.
28… keep those fingers moving.
27… What’s next on your agenda?
26… Another scroll?
25… Have you clicked the Easter egg on 38?
24… There's nothing on 38. Hope you didn't scroll all the way up to check.
23… Keep going.
22… Actually, there is an Easter egg on 38.
21… BUT Never mind.
20… this is your new cardio.
19… The end is near.
18… THE apocalypse ?
17… This is it. hold onto your snacks!
16… Final scrolling.
15… like a rocket launch with no launchpad.
14… this is your
moment.
13… Just a few left.
12… Almost there.
11… Can you feel the excitement?
10… TEN!
9… Keep it up!
8… Eight!
7… Oh my god!
6… Six!
5… Are you crying ?
4… Four!
3… Three!
2… two!
1… ONe!
100… One hundreed.
99… Almost there.
Just kidding.
OK I’m afraid I can’t help you anymore.
Still here after all this TIME.
You might just be a lost cause.
here’s the last
favor I can do for you.